my hunches are right.

i don't understand, and i still don't get it. why are all these things happening to me? ive always been reflecting back on what i did the day when i'd spent time with someone. every single night, but still, i don't seem to get the fact that these miracles are happening to me. i believe in miracles. i believe in karma. i believe in God's challenges towards His slaves. but you see, why must all these things kept repeating itself? did i make the wrong step? i've talked it out, trying to find the answers for the mistakes/problems. it is yet to be found. are they being the imposter, disguising their real personality? or am i being fooled by them? or are they unhappy with my attitude? you know, every single thing came up to my mind. it's somehow, complicated as well as confusing. after these things happen to me, i don't think i wanna stand out my real personality towards anyone at all. including my families, cause it seems that, for everyone, they're kinda irritated by my attitude. 'CHANGE?' maybe i have to. but it's not as simple as eating a biscuit and then swallow it within 1minute. it takes a whole of my lifetime to adapt to a new and presentable attitude plus behaviour. but, some do say that, be yourself, don't impost others personality. the question now is, what am i suppose to do to please everyone? it's not easy. and how can i do that? impossible. is life so complicated like this? i believe that, yes it is. sometimes, i'm stuck between two. friends, and families. both, truthfully are important. but, it's tough.

however, you can't be a two-faced person to please both equally, right? yeah, i'm trying to be equally nice towards both teams. if that still doesn't work, i might as well live my life alone even though i have to go through hard times alone, i'll have to endure it. the main thing is, i have to believe in myself, and faith plus belief that i can do this. and i must not put high hopes on myself. cause i don't like it if it turns out to be the 'unexpected'. God willing, i'll keep track of my attitude, and as a red ruby, i have to wipe off the sharp edges politely so that it will turn out not as perfect, but just nice ^^

done here, i'm sleepy. bout yesterday's job training, will update later.

in the afternoon. Goodnight friends, stalkers, families.

and i mean, everyone. takecare ^^

yours sincerely, 

EeqaSyafiqah Montel

2nd Audition for my brother (:

i love it. i love it..! 
the way we cheer. the way you shout, the way we SCREEEAAAAAAAAAM! for my beloved, dearest brother, Mohamed Shairul ^^ huhu! loools :DD my bro sang a song by Samson, Bukan Diriku. How awesome? ((: hehehe ! we shouted, we cheer, we do everything! gereeeeeekk uh siooooool ! haha (: but unfortunately, didn't get through to the 3rd round. that's okay (: haha! 


then, we went home, i met my jiran and friends outside her house, staircase near lift. after that, we went to 466 lepak with Fie, Adek and Wan. haha^^ then kite samer-samer naek lorrrrrrrrry! pi figure8, and play carrom! like again? this time round, aku winning! hhehehe^^, massoooook gooal! haha (: dah gitu kan dah gitu kan. nampak police, BAAACHHOOOOL DOOK! haha. loools, kaykay, joking ajer hor siuuul ~ then, around 545am, lepak.. 6am we went to 466, naek lorry, again~ fetch adek. then now i'm at home, doing what? haha! i took a bath, getting ready to soccer competition at 288 street soccer! hahaha. semangat kepe? then, what am i waiting for? waiting for my jiran to text me. so, yeaaaaah ~ before i get sleepy, i started updating my blog and stuffs. haha^^ am i clever or what, bitch? hahaha! kay, angin tak betol aku dah sampai. tuuuuuuuuuut! huhu^^ kkay, im tired. byebye! ^^


*Fie: Kimaaaak, nie cacat celer punye ah siol! hahaha, cacat habes pnye siaa! haha^^!!!*

i like you, boy. do you notice that?

it's verrrryy irritating, when someone you like, and you show him that you really like him, but, to no avail. i like you, you like her. fcuuuuuuk! okay, cut the crap please?
just got back from lepak. i met Chubby outside my house around 530pm. then we proceed 296 and met others. some were playing skateboards. some were drawing a portrait. and so, around 730pm, we proceed to takraw court, blk 319. i looooove to sit at the top, and be the empire. but unfortunately, i don't know how to see whether it's 'batal' or 'out' or 'point'. haha^^ then, came this irritating bustard guy. bawak motor lah kirakan, boley tahan handsome, tapi aku benci! fcuuuuk your mother, bodow. aku tau uh aku tak pandai kira, bila aku kira, cakap salah lah aper. pikir match betol per sia?! otak mati. binget je! bloody hell. salah kira je, aku jugak yang kene. musaibot! wt..fcuk?! dah gitu takpe, dier bisek pat Ted, cakap, 'suroh orang yang tak main, kira uh. dekni macam lost2 uh.' BINGEEEET derrrr aku dengar! otak mati sial. tak suka, cakap depan2 uh siol. tros aku takde mood siak nak kira. pukitiang betol! mati tanak. sial! nak step mana peh bagos je maen takraw. siak uh, takya anggek uh siol! pikey aku heran? taik uh siol. chibaaaai~ dah tu takpe, lights dah out exactly at 10pm, sumer proceed fitness.. then lepak punya lepak, nyanyi punya nyanyi, strum punyer strum. member got hal pat northpark. aku tanak masok campor. so, my friends and others proceed 289. after that, everyone planned to play carrom! wahhaaaa~ but eventually aku takde mood, so aku thought of balek, but like very obvious kan, so aku go on lor.


then, we proceed to figure8, and play carrom. left with me, Atikah, An, Chubby, Sharul, Sham, Sufi and Ted. after a few minutes, Sharul was fcuking pissed off playing carrom. haha^^ then, he went home. Then came Eqa, Farhana, Fie and his brothers. very well, Farhana and Eqa wanna play carrom, so i let them play. So, Me Chubby and An decided to go exercise nearby, at fitness corner. hahaha :DD kekek sia! pijak-pijak batu, fcukking pain! apparently, Fie and his brothers went home. So, everyone went to pondok nearby, still at figure8, and 'LANDING TIME!'. everyone was peacefully landing, trying to get a nap. but i was so damn active, i climbed up and down the sits. ride the bicycle. dancing. jumpstyling. singing. stretching. THEEEEEEEN came this very part! where my craziness starts! I planned to carry An first, from his legs. so i carry, he was struggling. so i put him down. then CAME FARHANA, OMG! this is so fcuking funny. WHILE I WAS TRYING TO CARRY ANA FOR THE FIRST TIME, FAIL. SECOND TIME, FAIL. THEN COMES THE THIRD TIME, SUCCESS! BUT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPEN? 

*KEBAAAAAABOOOM!!!!!!*

I FELL RIGHT EXACTLY LANDING ON MY BACK, AND MY BACK WAIST! AND FARHANA WAS ON TOP OF ME. WHAAAAT THEEEE FCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!!!!!! FREE SHOW UH SIOOOOOL ~!! AHAHAHA. IT WAS SO FCUKING DRAMATIC. CAUSE I FELL, WITH A SMOOTH AND SLOW MOTION. YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE MATRIX? HAHAHA! EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING LIKE HELL SIAAAAA! ESPECIALLY SHAM, HAHA! HE COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING. LUCKY NOTHING HAPPEN TO ANA. OHH MYY~! ahahaha. okay, stoppit. my back's fcuking pain now. then from there, i stopped being so active, act cool, but eventually pain. so i played with chubby carrom. two people. so came, Sham, Sufi, Ana and Ted. Ana went home, because her knee was super pain! 'SORRY ANA!!! ^^' played carrom for a few minutes, then everyone went home. because the others wanted to go fishing at changi. 

omg! today's my brother's Anugerah 2nd audition! fccccuuuuuuuk (:

i hope, nothing's gonna happen. God, please help? 

Abang, i will come down. i will sleep now okay? don't worry.

me always love you, and will always support you from behind, bro!

HAAAA! PICTURES! will upload soon (:

everything is inside my phone. will update later aite? okaaaaaaaaaay~! 

sleeping soon! toodles. goodnight. sweetdreams. takecare!

- as always, EeqaSyafiqah Montel.

p.s. i like someone. but i dont think he likes me. :(

my dearest friend :')

Akyie, i'm sorry. please don't ignore me. you know i'm always your friend. please don't stay silent. 23rd March 2011, happy 10th monsary for you and Kify. i know, it's belated two days back. Akyie, you're my friend, and i feel like half of me is not around since you didn't talked to me . i'm sorry for what i've done. and i know, aku mengalah. tapi takkan kau nak melarat sampai skrg? mungkin ia, pada kau perangai aku macam sial. tapi, aku macam sial bermaksod. bukan aku suka-suka. kalau kau masey tak faham jugak, takpe lah. i'll let you live in peace. if you think that you're ready to talk to me, do text. cause aku rindu kau, kawan. takecare.

If only .....

everything starts with 'If' is meant for whether you could do it or not. or get it or not. get what i mean? urghh~ this just sucks. every night, i felt the same thing happened. why? because i feel that i don't deserve to be in this life. everything i do, just seems to be not right and not fitted to. every single day, i expect the unexpected. shits. shit happens to me, and i can't accept it. because it's my life, and someone is trying to break it apart and trying to interfere. sarcasm. sense it. (: ohh please, fcuked up. what the hell for? well, there's a reason. 

the reason is that, i'm sensitive, *well, some of you does.*  i'm emotional, irritating, noisy, annoying, fat. well, i have this kinda attitude, where i love saying bad things about myself, cause it's unfair for me, when others commenting about my life. who else likes it when these kinda shit happens? like for example, you're going through a happy life right now, and loving the way it goes, but miracles happen like someone's trying to take that happiness away from you. IF only i could turn back the time, IF only i could change the situation where regrets appear in your life. IF only i am able to focus on one thing, and achieve my goals without alot of problems/troubles that i encounter. IF only i could get people trust, without them being dishonest. IF only i wouldn't be so weak. IF only i wouldn't fall so in love, i won't be hurt so deeply. that's the way, and i hate the word 'IF'.

you see? everything does starts with an 'IF'. 

hey love, do smile. every smile that you show, is a bliss for yourself. don't sulk, don't frown, cause everyone loves the way you smile, even though how shitty your face gets. patience, GOD loves his Slaves. (: guess what? i'll pray hard, INSYAALLAH, everything goes well. and SYUKUR ALHAMDULLILAH to Allah, for showering and engraving a smile on my face, and brings happiness in my life. and THANKYOU, for all the challenges that you gave me. i'm proud enough to say, i will win one day. AMIN.

Take a break, get a Kit Kat (^^,)

sometimes, people thought that i'm such a lousy kinda girl who's very childish and doesn't wanna be serious.
And sometimes, people thought that i'm like such a naggy, and becomes over serious about such issues.
maybe, they see me in that kinda way, at the very wrong timing. ohh well~ who bothers anyway? my life, or theirs? mine right, so haha! fcuk them all. i won't go overboard whenever such things really does matters. 


booohoo! ^^, gonna go for job training at TCC, clarke quay. on 29th of March. 9am - 6pm. wahpiang!
retail training. 8hours sia! tiring :( boohooo~ nehh, its okay. gonna be quite fun, and i hope i could have a job as soon as possible. if not, have to say 'BYEBYE' to my ipod touch gen4! ohh ohh! NO WAY! when there's a will, there's a way. sure will get my ipod touch soon! IDC. haha :DD can't wait! 


yesterday was a superb blast! i love going to clarke quay. especially when we've got to sit along the riverside. facing the BUNGEE! woohoo (: love it love it. its as though as you're enjoying the breeze, admiring the view, releasing the stress that you have. awww~ i just love it love it! huhu^^ ((: 
you see, i thought that i couldnt and wouldnt able to move on. but, after a few weeks, my mind is in peace. and i really love it ! if only, i could feel the happiness like this, before all these things happen, all the shits that happened towards me. i wouldn't have to laugh at myself remembering the time where i have to do stupid things, wasting my time, and hurting myself over such issues. hmm, it's not worth it. and i wouldnt have bothered bout those things anymore. okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~ cut the sentimental thingy babes!


just finished watching 'DIL HAI TUMHARA'. after update blogging and stuffs, will go up to my neighbour's house, and L e p a k. standard! hahaha :DD chatting with Don Hyrul, and i'm tired of laughing. haha^^
lols, yesterday tired of walking, laughing, camwhoring. today, tired of laughing. like wt..hell? haha!!
okay then, got to go. bye'bye! see ya when i see ya! toodles! (^^,)

i'll always be myself. and thats me.

THAT'S ME, AND I LOVE MYSELF!

ALWAYS BE,

EEQASYAFIQAH MONTEL (^^,)

FRIENDS (:

THAT'S FARHAN AKA 'AN' AND ME (:

THATS FARHANA AKA ANA AND ME (:

THAT'S ZUL CICAK AKA FIE CICAK AND ME (:

HAHA! MUKA FIE MACAM PPM ! ^^

THAT'S EEQA AND ATIKAH (:

THAT'S US! EQA, ATIKAH, AN AND ME! (:

I LOOOOOOOVE THIS PICTURE THE MOST AMONG THESE! ^^

THATS ME AND MY NEIGHBOUR, EQA (:

T O W N S O M E R S E T S C A P E C L A R K E Q U A Y quest (:

T O W N S C A P E S O M E R S E T C L A R K E Q U A Y 

camwhoring was fun fun fun^^ !! when out with my friends, Eqa, Farhan, Zul Cicak, and Atikah (:

awesome awesome awesome!!! i swear (: 

well, seen the pictures? more pictures on facebook dude^^ huhu :PP 

super excited! and thanks to Fie Cicak or Zul or Fie or Cicak, he made us laugh like CCB! haha.

love 'em all. we're B2TWB. budak2 town wanna be! huhu^^ HAHAHA! 

okay, pictures do talking! bubbye (: