i don't understand, and i still don't get it. why are all these things happening to me? ive always been reflecting back on what i did the day when i'd spent time with someone. every single night, but still, i don't seem to get the fact that these miracles are happening to me. i believe in miracles. i believe in karma. i believe in God's challenges towards His slaves. but you see, why must all these things kept repeating itself? did i make the wrong step? i've talked it out, trying to find the answers for the mistakes/problems. it is yet to be found. are they being the imposter, disguising their real personality? or am i being fooled by them? or are they unhappy with my attitude? you know, every single thing came up to my mind. it's somehow, complicated as well as confusing. after these things happen to me, i don't think i wanna stand out my real personality towards anyone at all. including my families, cause it seems that, for everyone, they're kinda irritated by my attitude. 'CHANGE?' maybe i have to. but it's not as simple as eating a biscuit and then swallow it within 1minute. it takes a whole of my lifetime to adapt to a new and presentable attitude plus behaviour. but, some do say that, be yourself, don't impost others personality. the question now is, what am i suppose to do to please everyone? it's not easy. and how can i do that? impossible. is life so complicated like this? i believe that, yes it is. sometimes, i'm stuck between two. friends, and families. both, truthfully are important. but, it's tough.
however, you can't be a two-faced person to please both equally, right? yeah, i'm trying to be equally nice towards both teams. if that still doesn't work, i might as well live my life alone even though i have to go through hard times alone, i'll have to endure it. the main thing is, i have to believe in myself, and faith plus belief that i can do this. and i must not put high hopes on myself. cause i don't like it if it turns out to be the 'unexpected'. God willing, i'll keep track of my attitude, and as a red ruby, i have to wipe off the sharp edges politely so that it will turn out not as perfect, but just nice ^^
done here, i'm sleepy. bout yesterday's job training, will update later.
in the afternoon. Goodnight friends, stalkers, families.
and i mean, everyone. takecare ^^
yours sincerely,
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