If only .....

everything starts with 'If' is meant for whether you could do it or not. or get it or not. get what i mean? urghh~ this just sucks. every night, i felt the same thing happened. why? because i feel that i don't deserve to be in this life. everything i do, just seems to be not right and not fitted to. every single day, i expect the unexpected. shits. shit happens to me, and i can't accept it. because it's my life, and someone is trying to break it apart and trying to interfere. sarcasm. sense it. (: ohh please, fcuked up. what the hell for? well, there's a reason. 

the reason is that, i'm sensitive, *well, some of you does.*  i'm emotional, irritating, noisy, annoying, fat. well, i have this kinda attitude, where i love saying bad things about myself, cause it's unfair for me, when others commenting about my life. who else likes it when these kinda shit happens? like for example, you're going through a happy life right now, and loving the way it goes, but miracles happen like someone's trying to take that happiness away from you. IF only i could turn back the time, IF only i could change the situation where regrets appear in your life. IF only i am able to focus on one thing, and achieve my goals without alot of problems/troubles that i encounter. IF only i could get people trust, without them being dishonest. IF only i wouldn't be so weak. IF only i wouldn't fall so in love, i won't be hurt so deeply. that's the way, and i hate the word 'IF'.

you see? everything does starts with an 'IF'. 

hey love, do smile. every smile that you show, is a bliss for yourself. don't sulk, don't frown, cause everyone loves the way you smile, even though how shitty your face gets. patience, GOD loves his Slaves. (: guess what? i'll pray hard, INSYAALLAH, everything goes well. and SYUKUR ALHAMDULLILAH to Allah, for showering and engraving a smile on my face, and brings happiness in my life. and THANKYOU, for all the challenges that you gave me. i'm proud enough to say, i will win one day. AMIN.